2. Being happier around toxic people at work.

Wow this is a challenge. Negative 10% people have such a powerful ability to affect and infect the entire group. What do we do with people who don’t seem to want to change their toxic ways?

Firstly, I seek to understand. I know that everyone has a story and people act the way they know how to act. I spend some thoughtful time trying to figure out a way I might be able to connect with them. I meet them where they are at. I am real and genuine but positive can seem very fake to an unhappy person.

If that doesn’t work, I make sure I don’t make it about me. They can be as rude as they want to me but I will maintain my positive self and I will not buy into their negativity. I will not let them rent space in my head. Often, we want everyone to like us, 10% of people won’t! No matter how kind you are. Accept that. I have a quote on my desk that reads, “If someone says something unkind about you, live your life so that no one will believe it”.

Then I start a plan to phase them out. I know that if you have to work beside them that is not easy but if not physically then mentally.

I see narcissists and passive aggressive people in my audiences all the time. They are truly only 10% of the group! Let’s stop giving them our power and taking away our happiness. Hang out with the happier, 90% people.

1. Being happier at work.

I often interview a portion of the staff before I speak to them. I ask them to share with me their 90%s, the things they enjoy about their job and then, their 10%s. When I review the list of what most people do not like it is often things, they have no control over. It’s always first and foremost CHANGE, then often, something head office is doing, policies, procedures, short staffing etc.

I am not saying these problems are not real but if it is all we focus on and talk about it can be very draining. It starts a negative ripple effect. It first effects how you feel about your job and you start to wonder, am I making a difference? That attitude ripples to your coworkers. Don’t we all work with someone we wonder, “Why are they here if they are so unhappy?” That unhappiness then ripples to your customer. Have you ever been served restaurant staff that were not happy? Can’t you tell? That is how our customers feel when we show up unhappy. Then that ripples home. We show up at the end of the day unhappy to the people that we love. No job is worth that.

What can you do in Happiness Month to bring some positivity back to your work?

Living the 90% – March Booster

Since March is International Happiness Month, I felt it was the perfect time to share with you the Top Nine Ways to be happier!

1. Pick a job that you love. Focus on the 90% parts of your job you DO like. It is human nature to complain and have meetings over what isn’t working. If you start to focus on what you enjoy and talk about it more, it will change the way you see your job. In turn, it could help shift the morale where you work. One person does make a difference. Be the person who makes a 90% one.

2. Avoid toxic people. I know easier said than done but, where you can, avoid the 10% people who are toxic and unkind. It has been my experience that negative people rarely know they are they problem, and quite often, they just don’t care. Believe you are worth being treated way better than the way they treat you.

3. Ask constantly, “What is still good”? Even in the darkest times of my life, I have been able to dig deep at what is still a 90%? Start with the fact you are alive and live in the greatest country in the world.

4. Deal with your 10%s. I have my three times complain rule. Throw yourself three pity parties and then lay out what you need to do to heal and get better. Find new ways to accept your current reality and your new normal. Resistance doesn’t solve anything.

5. Make someone else’s day. This is an instant way to make yourself happier. I am always looking for opportunities to put a smile on someone’s face. People deal with so many issues and traumas, they need to feel cared for and loved. By helping others, you help yourself.

6. Take ruthless care of yourself. Yes, ruthless care! We all lead enormous lives, we can’t do it all on an empty tank. Sleep well, eat well, exercise and ONLY listen to, read and watch positive 90% media. We all know how to be healthier but the bigger question is,”Why aren’t you taking better care of yourself?”

7. Change how you talk to yourself. Self-talk is so vital to being happy. See yourself through a 90% lens. Come up with great positive nick names for yourself. NEVER tell yourself you are stupid. Forgive yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You’re human. You will make mistakes and will not be perfect at everything. Nobody is.

8. Do more of what makes you smile. Write down three things you love to do that are healthy and fulfilling. Find space in your calendar right now to do all three. Go for walk, go to the gym, do something meaningful with your children — do it now! Don’t feel guilty about taking the time to do these things!

9. Treat your family like you treat your best client. Do you want better balance in your life? Then you need to apply the first eight ideas. The choices we make all day affect what we have left for our families. Quit giving the people you love your leftovers.

EXCITING NEWS!

I am writing my second book “Living the 90” — 9 ways to be happier, right now! It will be released this spring. Stay tuned.

Federated Co-op

Thank you Federated Co-op for choosing me to speak at your Equip Summit to managers and staff from across the Prairies. Co-op people are truly some of the nicest people you could ever meet.

The Co-op is filled with multi-generational people and that can be hard to lead. My advice is to take out your magnifying glass and start focusing on what you can do to connect to every generation. Become a really great listener and learn peoples names, what they are interested in, their family’s names…the list goes on and on. Then find a way to keep track of all that you gather.

When you pass staff in the hall, take 30 seconds to make a real connection. Slow down look them right in the eye and say, “Good morning.”

And please don’t ask people, “How are you?” unless you have focused time to hear the answer and care.

March!

March is such a great month. Not only will we start to see Saskatchewan finally warm up but it has International Women’s Day AND International Happiness Day.

Today, ask yourself, “What would make me happier?” Then ask, “How can I go about achieving more of that?”

Ministry of Advanced Education

I have the best job in the world for so many reasons and one of them is I get to see how organizations are keeping their employees happy. This week at my event I was so impressed by how well the Ministry of Advanced Education treated their staff.

I want to share an article from Gihan Perera I thought was an excellent reminder to start listening to what is important to our future generation, our future workers.

http://ow.ly/q4XK30nStoa

Ministry of Advanced Education

As much as I love traveling, there is nothing better than speaking in my own home city Regina, SK! I am spending the day with the Ministry of Advanced Education for their staff retreat day at our beautiful Conexus Arts Center.

I am happy to be sharing a message of positivity on another – 25 day in Regina. This weather is starting to affect people’s moods so I have my top three ideas for beating the cold today. #1. Stop talking about how cold it is and ask yourself, what can I get done in my office and home that I will not want to do when this weather warms up? #2. Make a decision that once it warms up you will do all you can do to be outside more than you ever have! Start planning the fun now, it gives you something to look forward to. #3. Remind yourself, that no matter how cold it is in Canada, many people living in other countries wish they could live here. Some even die trying to find the safety and freedom we often take for granted.

Have a beautiful day.

Ontario Power Generation

Good morning from cloudy plus two Ajax, Ontario. One of the things I love the most about my job is not only do I get to speak at conferences but I get to attend them also! It’s surprising to me when people show up at conferences and don’t seem to want to be there. I remind them that not everybody gets to go to a conference or staff training — it truly is a 90%.