Attitude Booster – September 2017
I once had an audience member tell me that we will go through many seasons in our lives and we will need to adjust ourselves differently for each season. This summer I entered a new season of my life.
Our 17-year-old daughter went from being driven everywhere, home for meals and the occasional hang out with her Mom to driving on her own, working a part-time job and hanging out with friends. I went from seeing her constantly to barely seeing her at all and I missed spending time with one of the most amazing young women I have ever met. We raised her to be independent but it all seemed to be happening so fast. I gave many speeches that started out with “It’s not you I don’t trust, it’s everyone else driving on the road with you”. I knew it was necessary for me to step back watch her take steps forward.
After eight years of difficult anxieties our 15-year-old son started to use the many tools he was given by his counsellor to stop relying so heavily on Mom and Dad and learn to be “ok” in the world. Soon enough his fears slowly dissipated and he rode off on his bike with his friends. I had to adjust to not worrying about him all the time and correct some of my own 10% co-dependent behaviour I had created after years of worrying and coping. I am so proud of the choices he makes everyday to get up and show up for his life.
I allowed myself to feel the 10%s during that time and embraced the many 90%s. I now found pockets of time for me, time for my marriage and I learned to love this new season of watching my children turn into incredible young adults.
Now as I look out the window at the gorgeous yellow leaves on my tree I am excited about this new season.
Nothing stays the same forever. Are you going through a season in your life right now? Something that requires you to adjust to a new way of thinking and being? Teenagers, divorce, a move, a new job? Adapting to a new season is a skill that we need to develop over our lives. It’s important to allow yourself the time to feel the 10%s and then make a choice to adjust and find the 90%s because the seasons will continue to change whether we like it or not.
If you have been following my posts about Nicole’s dad, Mel, I wanted to give you an update. I met Mel’s daughter, Nicole, earlier this year in sunny Dauphin, Manitoba and she told me how she and her family are celebrating their dad’s life as much as they can now while he is alive not at his funeral. I was so touched by her story that I sent a challenge out to all of you to plan something special for someone you love.
I decided to have a birthday party for my dad. My dad’s birthday party will take place October 7th and as part of my dad’s celebration, I want everyone to come ready to share what they love the most about my Dad. There will also be a book to write in so he can take that home read how much he is loved he is NO , not at his funeral in the far, far future. My family and I are all too busy to attend a birthday party but you know what, what are we waiting for?
So my friends, Mel wants to know what have you done? With Thanksgiving coming up, what can you do to celebrate someone you love in a special way? Please let us know. Mel is touched by all of your stories.
Big hug, Mel.
Wow, I just finished speaking to the #differentiate conference. The conference was filled with young and emerging leaders from Conexus, Innovation and Cornerstone Credit Union. All I can say is watch out, these are some amazing young people.
I had the privilege of hearing Conexus CEO Eric Dillon speak to open the day. I have heard dozens and dozens of CEOs speak and Eric did such a wonderful job. What “differentiated” Eric is his style and connection with the young audience.
He did so much right to connect with them today. He dressed young and informal, he used hilarious every day language and even a couple of tasteful “bad words”. But what really set Eric apart is he told this young group about the times he was scared, complained at work and made mistakes. Too often we as leaders think we need to get up and tell everyone how successful we are and how much we have accomplished. It is hard for people to relate to you if they think that you have never failed. Not only did it make Eric relateable, it made him a real person — a person this young group could definitely aspire to become someday.
Kudos to Eric Dillon, I cant wait to hear him speak again.
Now I am off to sunny Kingston Ontario to speak to 550 Ontario East Municipal Conference attendees!