Leaving a Positive Impression

I am off to Thunder Bay Ontario to speak to the Northern Ontario Community Futures  leaders. Seeing your job through a 90% lens and talking about your job and your role  in your community in a positive way encourages people in difficult economic times.  People are attracted to those who are positive and speak positively about what they  do. One of the questions I ask my audience members when I speak is, “What if I met you at a BBQ, I didn’t know you, and I asked you what you did for a living? THEN I asked you …”Do you like your job?” I believe that what we say at a BBQ, to a person we have never met, IS truly how we feel about what we do. As leaders in our communities, we have to make sure we are leaving a positive impression everywhere we go, in our actions and with our words.

Couples Connect

I spoke yesterday at Resurrection Parish for the Couples Connect group. Thank you Father Rick, Rose and Linda for your commitment to this program! The group was mainly young couples starting out in their marriage and I was fortunate enough to share my Focus on the 90% tool. The three key takeaways were: #1. pick a job that makes you happy so you can come home happy at the end of the day, #2. Hang out with happy couples. Try to limit the toxic 10% people in your life, they can affect your marriage and #3. Take care of yourself first. Make a commitment to your relationship to be a rested, nourished and happy person. It is a lot easier to see Darren through a 90% lens if I am doing my own self care.

What is Authentic Leadership?

I had to share this great info from Lesley Everett of Walking Tall.

What is Authentic Leadership?

What your employee base look for in your leaders today is a high degree of honesty, integrity and fairness and a feeling that they are genuine and not trying to be somebody that they are not.

Your customers are also looking for something similar.

Authentic leadership means being aware of your strengths, limitations and emotions and behaving in a way that demonstrates this self-awareness. When leaders appear to put on ‘an act’ it will dramatically dilute the levels of trust their teams have in them and therefore the effectiveness of taking people with them.

You cannot lead productively today if your teams don’t know who you are. They need a solid direction from a leader who is self-aware, genuine, is clear about what he or she stands for and is prepared to stand up for this. A level of vulnerability is also essential and this can only be achieved if you as a leader are totally comfortable with yourself.

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. – John Maxwell

Good morning from Vermilion, Alberta!!

I am preparing to speak in the beautiful Lakeland College Theatre and I discover I forgot my jewelry in the hotel room! ( I never do that) I call the hotel and let them know I will pick it up on my way out of town and Tannis Frantik, the General Manager of Vermilion Pomeroy Inn and Suites, offers to drive it over to me! What? Great service! Thank you Tannis and thank you front desk Erica for outstanding service.

Believe in Yourself!

Read this on the Positive Thoughts blog and wanted to share.

Believe in Yourself!

Be yourself and only yourself.

Be careful what you allow

into your body and into your space.

Even the food you put into your body

is crucial to your well-being

and to your sense of Self.

Take care of yourself.

Do not allow anything outside of you

to contaminate you.

Whatever you read affects you.

The television programs you watch,

the movies you see

and the music you listen to

have a profound impact on you.

Be discriminating.

Be discerning.

But do not be judgmental.

If you live a refined life,

you will become more refined.

Choose your friends wisely.

Do not allow others to get caught up

inside you or attached to you.

And don’t you become caught up with

or attached to others.

You must be yourself and only yourself

If you are to know the truth of who you are.

Leonard Jacobson


Something Great

This is a story from my book.

Chemistry was by far my greatest challenge. My constant questions to Mr. Majors were, “Why do I need to know this?” and “When will I ever use this in my life?” My first semester I received a mark of 16%. Yup, 16%.

My year‐end chemistry mark would determine if I was to graduate. I had my 1968 Volkswagen packed and I was ready to live my life, but I knew I had to get serious
about this class. I asked Mr. Majors if he would help me. I promised him I would show up if he would please give me a little extra help. He agreed. We worked hard
together. He didn’t give up on me!

The last day of school when they were passing out report cards, I learned that Mr.  Majors had mine and I was to go and see him after school. I thought the worst.

There he was at his desk. I could see the brown envelope. He looked up and said, “Oh good, I wanted to talk to you.” I could smell summer school in the air. He held out my report card and I asked him in a quiet nervous voice, “Did I pass?” He let me open the
envelope and whew … I had passed.

He walked me out of his classroom and as I was walking down the hall to ‘freedom’ he said, “I want to tell you something.” My heart sank. What else?

He said, “Darci, I don’t know where you are going in that ’68 Beetle or where life will take you, but I know a couple of things. I know for sure that whatever you go on and do in your life, it will have absolutely NOTHING to do with chemistry. And I know something else, that whatever you go on to do in your life, it will be something … great.” And he turned and walked away.

I think about Mr. Majors and his parting words all the time. I think they have had an impact on the person I’ve become today.

Lakeland College

I am in Vermilion Alberta today speaking at Lakeland College. Thank you Theresa for choosing me! If you have my book, you know I think teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world. Teachers have a profound ability to shape our future, and our self esteem. Everyone at a school or a college is part of the students’ overall experience. I have had many 90% teachers and, of course, a few 10% ones. What was the difference? The choice they made to come to work happy and fulfilled. That attitude ripples to those they taught and interacted with.

Love Yourself


“Remember, loving ourselves has nothing to do with vanity or arrogance—these emotions are only expressions of fear. When we love ourselves, we cherish and appreciate the wondrous beings that we are. Loving ourselves creates a life of joy and fulfillment. It’s hard for other people to love you when you don’t love yourself. Even if someone else does love you, you’re most likely to discount it by wondering, “How could they love me? What do they see in me?’ When you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to believe that you deserve good things in life. Stop criticizing yourself—now and forevermore. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. Love will heal you, I promise. Your love for yourself will work miracles in your life.” – Louise Hay

1% Victories for Relationship Excellence

I just wanted to share this great article by Dan Ohler.

“How can I fix my relationship?”

We hear this regularly in phone calls, emails, and from coaching clients.

Unfortunately, a relationship is not like a car, where you fix it by putting in new spark plugs, changing the brake pads, or installing a new sensor. That said, I know some people who would graphically tell you where to put the spark plugs in their relationship.fix a relationship

Yet there are things you and I can do that guarantee the relationship will improve. I’m not meaning big lavish things. In fact, the big things often complicate the relationship even more.

It’s the 1% victories that count.

Leadership and Personal Mastery expert, Robin Sharma, said, “1% victories performed daily and flawlessly are the keys to producing gargantuan results. Over long periods of time.”

This principle applies perfectly in business and also in a relationship.

What are these 1% victories?

Here are a few that coaching clients have applied with great results. None of them are hard, they simply take dedication, consistency, and persistence. As they are applied over the long term, they produce gargantuan results, one of them being immense joy.

  • 15 minutes of focused time together every night. Their groundrules for conversation are: positive, respectful, one speaks; one listens.
  • Device-free zone. Some couples choose this to be the bedroom, kitchen table, or both.
  • Evening meal together. Not only does this nourish the body, it nourishes the soul.
  • Hugging each other when they leave in the morning and when they come together in the evening.
  • A text mid morning that contains only three words, “I love you.”
  • Acknowledging each other for skills, talents and attractiveness. This could even be a bit flirtatious.
  • Reading a book together.
  • Playing a game together several nights a week.
  • Disconnecting the TV. For many couples, this would free up oodles of time.
  • Weekly date. They take turns planning the event.relationship victory
  • Walking together for 30 minutes each evening. Regardless of the time of year, the fresh air and exercise are valuable. Being out in nature tends to stimulate great conversation too.
  • Go to bed at the same time. Since you’re there together, you could cuddle too.
  • Volunteer together. There is something so powerful about giving of yourselves for something or someone else.
  • It’s the 1% victories that count.

    One of the secrets to ensuring these work is to have agreement to them, so both people show up. Most of them can be fun too, which adds motivation to follow through.

    You might be thinking, “BUT, Dan, we’re so busy that we don’t have time for any of those.”

    My inside-my-head voice that you’re not supposed to hear is screaming, “BS excuse.”

    My outside-my-head voice that is far more polite says, “I invite you to consider value rather than the time commitment. If you were to step out in time, 3 or 6 months from now, knowing that you had followed through on just one of these 1% victories, what would be different about you and your relationship? How would that feel?”

    If you are honest with yourself, I think you’d agree there is high value.What do you think?

    It’s the 1% victories that count.

    So, my friend, what 1% activities or victories do you do that prioritize and stimulate your relationship? I’d like to add some to our own repertoire.