A Gift

Friday, August 18th, 2017

I am behind two grandfathers in line — a 10% one and a 90% one. The 10% one is complaining about being with his grandchildren, being negative and talking disrespectfully to them and showing them no patience at all.

The 90% one is the exact opposite. When his grandchildren spoke to him, he would go down on one knee so he could look in their face, he spoke kindly and quietly and smiled at them with so much love in his eyes.

The 10% grandfather says to the 90% grandfather, “Isn’t it a pain to drag grandchildren around?” The 90% grandfather replies, “Not a pain at all. It is a gift to spend time with them.”
– excerpt from Darci’s book “Focus on the 90%”

From Next to Now

Friday, July 7th, 2017

July 2017 — Attitude Booster

Throughout the year, I travel one night a week and then I am home to spin my life around. I work, cook, clean and do laundry. I make life 90% perfect for everyone at home and then I go again. I have a balanced life and I try to live in the present moment but the travel tends to put me in a state of “NEXT!”

I had an incredible speaking season and stayed at some incredible places, but it has not been with its shortage of 10% days. I have dealt with hotel power outages, fire alarms, cancelled flights, storm delays, missed hotel and car rental bookings and I even experienced my first ever (and very frightening) shooter scare in an airport.

Every week I meet dozens – sometimes hundreds – of people. The energy exchange when I speak is extremely important to me but what happens afterwards means the most. Once I am finished speaking, I have handfuls of people come and tell me their stories, and this is what stays with me. I sit on dark airplanes and I close my eyes thinking of, and praying for, them. I get to impact others and they in turn impact me; it is the greatest trade-off.

At home I deal with making time for myself, my marriage, my friends and all that goes with raising teenagers. In addition to these meaningful relationships, I am nursing a very sick cat.

Summer is the time that I purposefully move from “NEXT!” to… Now. Summer is when I unplug and let this busy brain decompress.

I catch up on much needed sleep (well, as much as I can with teenagers coming and going). I unplug as much as possible. I eat beautiful food and commit to something physical every day. I wake up before everyone else to spend quiet, reflective, meditative time alone and I’ll do all I can to stay on that deck all day.

Summer is the time for us to move away from “NEXT!” and move to… now.

To Be a Dad

Friday, June 16th, 2017

June 2017 Attitude Booster

As part of a project, our son John’s high school class was asked, “What is on your bucket list?” John raised his hand and said, “To be a Dad”. The teacher emailed me to say that clearly my husband was a great father for my son to put “being a dad” on his bucket list. I told him that he was right, Darren is a wonderful father.

Parenting has had many 90% days in our house and it also has had its 10%s. We have parented through Darren’s depression, Jayda’s health challenges and John’s anxieties. We have traveled together as a family dozens and dozens of times. We have attended the funerals of our moms, family members and friends. We have had to say good bye to our beloved family pets.

All the while my husband has stepped up as a father. Even during his very difficult depression days there was not a time when Darren did not try. He sought counselling, read books, attended seminars and finally found the right medication. He apologized when he made a mistake and hosted endless family meetings where we could talk about how each of us felt. I often tell my children that despite the 10%s they have a dad who never stops striving to be a better father.

Darren’s dad died when he was eight years old. No one taught him how to be a great father, he had to learn on his own. So to Darren, my dad and all of the dads, grandfathers, uncles, and other men who impact children’s lives:

Happy Fathers Day.

Go Celebrate!

Thursday, April 6th, 2017

Today I turn 48 and I will celebrate 24 years of speaking. For half of my life, I have been a motivational speaker. I have learned a lot in 48 years.

I have learned:

Birthdays are celebrations. I tear up looking at my Mom’s and mother-in-law’s pictures, wishing they were still with me.

You have to learn to see your past through a 90% lens. Seeing through the 10% will affect your quality of life. Heal your wounds.

Tell everyone how grateful you are to have the job you have. It will teach them to be proud of their work and you will be a magnet in the world.

Only complain three times about your 10%s and then do something about it.

Marriages need love and attention. I love Darren, the man I have shared half of my life with.

Teenagers need us to be rested and nourished, so we can take care of them with patience and understanding. Being a mom is far more important than being a speaker.

The small choices you make everyday to take care of yourself not only pay off in how you feel today but later on as well.

Learn to love yourself, even if no one taught you how to. The world will mirror that back to you.

Go celebrate today… I know I will!
school age Darci

March 2017 Attitude Booster: What We Need to Practice

Monday, March 27th, 2017

In the book, “Modern Tales of Ancient Wisdom” Rhonda Victoor (one my favourite speaker friends) challenges me on how I look at the 10%s in my life. ,

When a 10% situation appears, either in a day-to-day small way or a big life event, I have always been the type of person who asks, “What am I supposed to learn from this situation?” I have spent many years pondering that question and learning the lessons. It has worked really well in my business, dealing with deaths in the family, my husband’s depression, my son’s anxiety and many other life lessons.,

Rhonda’s question, “What do I need to practice?” challenges us to go a step further and put the lesson into action. ,

She lists a few of these words as suggestions; patience, respect, empathy, intuition, love for them, courage, self-care, quiet reflection, humility, trust and boundaries. ,

I have been trying that. When I feel faced with a 10% situation I now challenge myself with the question, “What do I need to practice?” I then observe the situation and move my magnifying glass to the 90% and ask, “Do I need to love this person? Do I need to create a boundary around this relationship? Do I need some self-care to better deal with this?” This helps me to learn the lesson and a new way to respond. ,

The next time you are faced with a 10% situation, ask yourself, “What might I practice here? How can this positive practice be an influence on the situation?” ,

Rhonda’s book can be found here.

Deep breath,

More Positive Websites

Monday, February 13th, 2017

http://www.godvine.com/ is a great feel good sites. It has real stories of people and animals doing things to make the world a better place.

Another great site is: https://www.thedodo.com/ It contains real situations of people and animals showing compassion towards one another during some extreme times of need. A very feel good site.

Attitude Ripples Out

Thursday, February 9th, 2017

Thank you Henry for sharing this story during my presentation.

“I know a very happy woman that I do business with. I asked her, “How are you so happy all the time.”

She said, “In my business, I have the chance to meet about 20 people a day. If I am kind to those 20 people and make their day a little better, then I believe that those 20 people go out into the world happier and my kindness affects everyone. Not only the people I have met but all of the people that they then meet in their day.”

How true. I say that our attitude ripples out to those that we work with, those that we serve and those we go home to at the end of the night.

Life Has to Offset Your Stressful Job

Monday, February 6th, 2017

I have met a lot of people with very stressful jobs. If you are in a job that is very stressful it is really important that your personal life is full and happy to balance that stress. It is very hard to cope when our tanks are depleted. The book Crisis of Spirit reminds me that our lives must be an offset of the stress we feel at work.

Smiling Too Much

Thursday, February 2nd, 2017

In the CFL Eastern final game last season, they interviewed Henry Burris.

When Henry played for the Roughriders, I loved that he was always smiling. In
the interview, he said he is often accused of smiling “too much”.
All I could think was, “Is that a bad thing?”