Someday

I always say the nicest people I meet treat the smallest of the world the kindest. After a health care presentation, an audience member sent me this.

“How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong because someday in life you will have been all of these.”

George Washington Carver

Happy

Thanks Marilyn for this great email!Be Happy Now

“When I was in grade school, they told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down “happy.”

They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life.”

 

Guan is Totally Right

I received this email in response to my October newsletter.

Hi Darci,

Thanks for sharing the story, and Guan is totally right. We do complain alot! And we should be more thankful. I did live in Malawi for three years from 1989-1992 and water is precious. People take it for granted. I do not, I look at the tap running when I need a drink of water and think back to my Malawi days and wonder how far are people hauling water in jugs, on their heads today? I also think people are unhappy and complaining because we have to much materially. Most people in Malawi did not have much. Children played with a stick and a bicycle rim running down the road. Little girls did not have dolls to play with, they had these big pods from a tree wrapped up in a rag and pretended they were a baby doll. But they were always smiling and happy. Thanks for sharing, have a good day!

Lori

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Craving

Love this quote:

“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”  William James

 We need to tell people around us at work that they are good. It might be the only place in their life that they hear it.

office team

Is your team craving appreciation?

Grateful

One of the stories I tell in my book is about being grateful and I thought just before the Thanksgiving weekend it would be good to share it again.

Grateful
Traveling home on a cold delayed flight I was catching myself focusing on the 10%s. I was at the end of a long traveling schedule and feeling a little weary. We arrived home in freezing cold weather to late luggage and a half an hour wait for a taxi. Though I was chanting 90% …90% in my head, I was feeling sorry for myself as I stood one of the last people in the airport waiting for a ride. I could see the  taxi driver smiling as he pulled up to the airport. He jumped out and carefully loaded my suitcases in his car. His energy was infectious. We exchanged the usual pleasantries. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking (very unlike me – just ask my husband!) but I wanted to know more about this happy man on this dark cold night.

He told me how he had just moved to Canada with his wife and their four children. He went on and on about how lucky he was to have found his job and how blessed we are to live here. He told me funny stories of his children seeing snow for the first time. They had rented an apartment and he raved about how lucky we are to have homes of our own. He told me his parents would join them next year. When I asked if he would need to rent a house instead of the apartment for extra room, he seemed shocked at the idea. He said with sincerity “oh no, we have plenty of room for everyone.”
As we pulled up to our middle class house he sat back and said, “Wow, you live in a palace – you are a lucky woman.” I gave him an extra big tip and crept into my sleeping house.
I sat quietly on the bench at the front door and took a minute to Focus on my 90%s. I have a job that I love. I get to travel; some people have never been on an airplane. I live in a safe beautiful city, however cold, to raise our children in. Our house, though older – is our house, even a palace to some. My health, something I never take for granted. I have a healthy sleeping family to come home to. I went into their rooms and kissed their sleeping faces.

It is easy to slip sometimes and focus on the 10%s, what we don’t have, what we wish we had and start to feel sorry for ourselves. It is wonderful how God always puts someone in my path during those times to remind me of what is really important and how grateful I should be.

What are you grateful for? Stop and take a deep breath right now and reflect on your 90%s.

Another amazing Matthew Kelly “Raising Amazing Children” idea

Another amazing Matthew Kelly “Raising Amazing Children” idea is to not respond to your children with a yes or a no. Instead, he challenges us as parents to ask them, “What do you think?”

When my son asks, “Mom, can the four neighbour boys jump on the trampoline with me?” I would usually bark a very emphatic,  No way – someone will get very hurt!”  Matthew challenges me to say, “John, do you think it is a good idea to have five boys on a trampoline … in the rain?”

Trampoline fun!

Trampoline fun!

I have been doing this a lot lately as I am very good at yes and no responses.  It has been very interesting to let our children figure out what is right and wrong for themselves. I am not saying it goes well all the time or that I don’t resort back to yes and no once in a while.

Matthew says it starts to create children who think for themselves.  I really like that. Wish me luck!

A great idea on how to raise amazing children.

I am listening to my “raising amazing children” CD by Matthew Kelly and he shared many great ideas on how to raise amazing children and here is one:

5 practical ways to build family spirituality

5 practical ways to build family spirituality

You need to be able to say sorry to your children.  This I have been very good at over the years but Matthew added another layer to that. He said when you say sorry, just say, “I am sorry I raised my voice at you.” The key is not to add why you raised your voice.  He says that if we say, “I am sorry I raised my voice at you but I wouldn’t have to do that if you listened to me”, then you are taking away the sorry part.  He explains that by adding the, “ I yelled because….”  piece at the end, you do not show them that you really care.

Very interesting. I have been practicing hard at not doing the add-on pieces.  It is hard at first.

Try it. It is amazing how many times we apologize to those we love (and even those we don’t) and then add a piece on that almost justifies our behaviour.  Try the power of just saying, “ I am sorry for how I acted.”  Own it.

 

What do you have left for those you love?

As I said before, I love my job but it is just that – a job. It does not fully define me, it is simply one of the roles that I play. Being a wife and mother far exceeds anything I do as a speaker.

What I focus on in the day determines what I have left for the people I love. If I spend my evenings playing the movie of my day over in my head, focused on the 10%s I will be drained.

I choose to look at the 10%s that happen in a day and put it in perspective. I can’t keep everyone happy and I am not going to try and be perfect. There will always be 10%, but there is always 90%. Where is your focus?