Living, Loving & Learning

It was 1993, and I was 24 years old, having what I now call my “quarter-life crisis.”  I was a physical, mental and emotional mess. I went to the library and took out every book I could on self-help. I sat on the floor of my run-down rental house, stopped drinking and partying, and I read one book at a time to help move me forward in a positive way.

I remember the Saturday night I stayed home to read Living, Loving, Learning by Leo Buscaglia.  I was sitting on my couch, and though I didn’t have any money, the money I was saving not drinking all the time, gave me a little extra money for a small pizza.  I remember that day. It was one of the many that set me on my path to wanting to be a better person, and the author Leo Buscaglia sounded like the kindest man in the world.

I saved that book, and last weekend I read that book again. It took me right back to being that brave young woman who wanted to change. I underlined this part of the book, and I remember reading it and thinking, I want to be that person. “You are all you have. Therefore, make yourself the most beautiful, tender, wonderful, fantastic person in the world. And then you will always survive.”  I wanted to survive. I wanted to take better care of myself and live a wonderful, fantastic life.

I finished the book, and on the last few pages, there was a stain where I dropped pizza on the book. I touched the page and smiled. My life is 100% different than I ever thought it would be. Since that day, I have made small choices to love the woman in the mirror.  To believe I was worthy. No one taught me how to do that. I learned how. Let’s spend this fall learning how together.

I am pulling the following quote from my latest book, Embrace the 90%, as I think it helps relay the message.

“Let’s stop passing a mirror and seeing what we don’t like, and instead look right into that mirror and say, “I love you” to the person who stares back at you.”

You are worth it.

Booster: From Darkness Comes Light

It has felt like a heavy September so far. There is sadness in our world, in our province and close to home, and it comes to us in many forms. It came to me recently by attending a child’s funeral, and I hope never to experience that level of sadness again.
We read, hear and deal with tragedies, but what if we reduced the time we spend learning more about them and focused that time on what we can do to help instead? We spend so much time focused outward.
We spend so much time and money on our appearances, homes and businesses but do we take the time to spend on our inner selves? Spend more time on what you can do to be a better human being. So, then you can help more human beings. We focus on the external world, but what about the internal one? When you are a full, rested, nourished person, you can fill others from that place.
Pay attention to what is taking your time and attention away from taking care of you. Then ask yourself, what could I do slightly better to feel better?
When you feel better, you act better. So, when I am kinder to myself, I have the love and energy to share kindness with others.
The world needs kindness. Your community needs kindness. Your team members need kindness. But, most importantly, the people you love that are hurting need you. Are you going to show up for them?

Darci’s Booster: Stay Grateful

As I walked into the hotel lobby for an event this week, it was full of people. There were people smiling, some were crying, and some had blank stares.

As I waited in the hallway for my client to arrive, I chatted with the hotel staff and asked them why the hotel was so busy. I learned that the hotel was full of people who had to flee their country with only the clothes on their back.

As the day wore on, I met some of those people in the hallway. I watched their sweet children running around the hotel and wondered what they thought. One man shared with me how sad he was to leave his family pictures behind. “No memories,” he said, “no memories.” What really got me was when a woman told me they had to leave behind their family pets. I hugged a few strangers and prayed Canada would be a fresh start for them.

I came home that day extra grateful. Grateful for my home, my family, our pictures (ok, a hard drive full of pictures) and my sweet pets.

I know we all have full lives with 10% mixed in. Times like this really reset me. My stresses are so small in comparison.

Happy Summer!

I like to kick off the summer with a re-read of Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul. Michael asks the question, “If you had a week to live, what would you do with that week?” I think a lot about that as I walk my beloved dog Holly in the cemetery each evening. What would I do?
I know exactly what I would do. I would slow life right down and fill my days with only the things that I love and bring a smile to my face. I would wake up super early and thank God for the life I never thought I would have. I would spend all day in our beautiful backyard and kiss and love up my pets. I would tell my family what I always tell them, that I love them, and I am grateful that I got to be their wife and mom.
A big part of what I would do that week would be to invite everyone I love to my house, and one by one, I would tell them why I love them so much and what impact they have had on my life. Then we would party with beautifully catered meals — big, long, into-the-night celebrations. At the end of that week, I would open up my laptop one last time, and write a message to all of my clients and audience members to thank them for their support with a reminder to live their lives fully. I would write a letter of love and appreciation to everyone in my circle of support—the family and friends who have been so loving and supportive.
Then Michael also asks a second part to this question, “What can you do to incorporate some of those activities into every week of your life NOW?”
Great question. I will start by telling all of you how much I appreciate you and all you have done to support my career as my client, audience member and follower. Thank you.
What would you do?What can you do to incorporate more of that into your everyday?

Laugh

One of my favourite people was my great Aunt Fuss. Her name was Mary but because she was such a fussy baby, she earned the nickname Fuss. After her passing, my dad was given a box of her personal things. Recently, my dad found something special, a bible that had been given to her in 1924. What made it extra special is that Aunt Fuss had written in it, “To Darci from Fuss – 1976” and no one had ever seen that.
My dad brought me this bible, and it had a bookmark in the middle. I was so excited to get this and thought for sure that the bookmarked page would be a passage that would change my life. I thought Aunt Fuss must have earmarked those pages for me to learn something extraordinary. So I read the pages over and over, I researched the passages and nothing.
Then it hit me. The message was not in the pages but in the bookmark itself, “The most wasted day of all is that one in which you have not laughed.”
You are so right Aunt Fuss; it is a wasted day when we have not laughed and smiled.
The last two years have been challenging, and some of those 10%s could definitely cause our smiles to fade. Let’s make a choice today to laugh, smile and not waste another day!

Time to Embrace the 90%

I hope that in a world that has 10%s you are able to wake up in the morning and put your 90% magnifying glass in front of you and see what is good and what you can control every day, something that has radically changed my life.

Now I just finished my fourth book, finally! My fourth book, Embrace the 90%, a book for women, is out today and I am so grateful for this book. You know, yesterday I was listening to a podcast with Michael Singer, the author of The Untethered Soul, and he just finished his second book and he was explaining in the podcast how the book just needed to be written, and I can resonate with what he said. I needed to write this book. Though I have three books already, honest and vulnerable, authentic me explaining the 10%s I’ve been through, this is even a deeper dive.

This book is called Embrace the 90%, How to Slay Fear, Defy Your Labels and Love Yourself. And I am going to explain a very lengthy process I went through to overcome fear and trauma in my life. Then I want to talk about our labels because we were given labels as children. We’re told things by exes and coaches and people we love that just aren’t true. And if you can learn to see what you’ve been told through a 90% lens, you’ll learn that it made you resilient and made you powerful. And then the last chapter is about loving yourself because some of us didn’t learn how to do that, and I’m going to mentally, physically and spiritually fill your self-love toolbox full.

Thank you for all of your support, thank you for being a part of my newsletter, thank you for being a part of my social media. I can’t wait for you to have this new book. Take care.

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/RLE_6eSXNbs

 

Fresh Air = Fresh Perspective

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed today ! So much going on with the launch of the new book and not enough balance.
So I pushed away from my desk, grabbed Holly’s leash and we went for a long lunchtime walk.
Did I have time, no. Unanswered emails, yes!
Laundry and dishes to do, always.
That hour totally reset me.
Rather than reaching for your phone, sugar or caffeine – go for a walk
Fresh air = fresh perspective.

Be Selfless

As a mom, I want to be around for my kids and my grandkids. I want to have the energy to play with them and be present in their lives. That’s why I’m careful about the choices I make. Every choice I make as a mom determines the kind of mom and grandma I will be.
As a mom, I know that every choice I make determines the kind of mom and grama I will be, so I need to make choices that will allow me to have the energy I need to be there for them. I’m not being selfish when I choose to take care of myself. I’m being selfless!

Quality

The qualities we want from others are often the qualities we need to bring out in ourselves. If we want respect, we need to respect ourselves. If we want love, we need to love ourselves. If we want understanding, we need to understand ourselves. You get the idea.
Take a moment to think about the qualities you want from others. What do you need to bring out in yourself in order to attract those qualities?
What are you going to start working on today, so you can watch your relationships transform.

The Most Incredible Bridal Show

Twenty-nine years ago, I moved to Regina to open my own tuxedo rental store. A week later, I became a speaker! When I called the local bridal shows to buy a booth in the show and put my tuxedos in the fashion show, I was turned down! I was told my competitor had the fashion show spot taken. This was not good! I needed people to see what I had to offer. As you will read in my new book, I am a very resilient person and I was super resilient at 24 years old. So I started my own show.
Well, 29 years later, we made the difficult decision to sell the show. It was our baby and a business our children grew up working in, but it is time for someone new and exciting to take this show over. Meet Angela from Imagine Events! I am very proud to say that Angela is the new owner.
I wish you all the best, Angela, in putting on the best day ever!