I have. I can. I will

Before I speak I like to interview a portion of my audience. I ask them questions related to my upcoming presentation…tell me about the 90%s and 10%’s of your job, with the people you work with and with your clients. Then I ask them a personal question that they can decide if they want to answer.   I ask if they are working on anything in their own personal development journey because I believe that  most of us are “works in progress”! It is so interesting learning about people and what they are doing to improve their lives.

I asked one of my audience members if I could share with you what she wrote.  Her response on my questionaire was, “ I have. I can. I will.” She went on to explain to me that she has in the past sought ways to be happier. She can always find ways to improve herself. She will always be committed to do that.

Great advice.


A man approached me after I spoke one day and asked me, “Do you think people will leave here changed?”

It is amazing to me that people think that one presentation, one book, one PBS special will change them. Changing requires lots of work. Trust me, I know this first hand. It is about going to many seminars, reading many books, eating food that nourishes you and makes you feel happy, it is about taking care of your body so you have energy to face whatever life hands you, it is about hanging out with people that add value to your life, and it’s about putting your family first so you don’t live with regrets.

So no, I don’t think they leave changed. But my hope is…they leave inspired enough to say, “I do want to be happier. Now what do I need to do to make that happen?”

Rude vs. Nice

I am always so surprised how some people think it is okay to be rude. I am not talking of someone “giving their opinion” or “stating their views”; I mean…rude. I remember how shocked I was when a groom would come into my tuxedo store and be rude. It was his wedding and he was with his future bride! Yikes… I wanted to tell her to “run”.

People grow up with crazy belief systems around how to treat retail staff, health care workers, government employees, waiters and anyone else who’s job it is to “serve” them. I grew up believing we were all the same and everyone deserved respect.  I have 10 half and step brothers and sisters and I have reminded them over the years that how your date treats the waitress will be the future of how you are treated. I have been preaching this for years.

Last night I was in Urban Barn and low and behold they have a poster that reads “A person who is nice to you and not nice to the waiter is not a nice person”.

I could not agree more! And… I think every restaurant should own a poster like that.