Stay Focused Videos

Do you need to know everything that’s going wrong at home when you’re hundreds or even thousands of miles away? My husband Darren and I have a rule. We’ve been parents for 25 years. We’re both motivational speakers. We travel. We have a family, beloved pets and all the regular 10% that comes with life. When one of us is on the road, our answer to “How is everything?” is usually pretty simple: Everything is great. Unless there is something the other person truly needs to know, we don’t unload the 10% happening at home while they’re away. Why? Because if Darren is a thousand miles away and there is absolutely nothing he can do about a situation at home, what does telling him in that moment accomplish? Now he’s carrying the worry too. Over my 33 years of travelling as a motivational speaker, I’ve seen how easily upsetting news from home can change someone’s entire experience when they’re away. They can’t fix it. They can’t help. But they can certainly worry about it. So Darren and I wait. When one of us is getting close to coming home, that’s when we have the conversation: Okay, now tell me what’s really been going on. It’s one of the ways we protect each other’s ability to be fully present wherever we are. And it connects to something I talk about often through the Darci Lang Focus on the 90% philosophy: not every piece of the 10% needs your attention at every moment. My challenge for you: Before sharing something stressful with someone who is away, ask yourself: Do they need to know this right now? Can they do anything about it? Or can it wait? What do you think? Would this rule work in your family? Tell me in the comments. For more from Darci Lang on focusing on the 90%, being fully present and choosing where you put your energy, subscribe to the channel and follow along on social media.

What do you do on the days when you just don’t want to go to work? I was recently on a Zoom call with a client who asked me that exact question. Some members of her team have been struggling with motivation or calling in sick, and she wanted to know what I do on one of those days myself. Because I have them too. When I start focusing on the 10%, thinking about how I don’t want to travel or everything I have ahead of me, I can actually feel my body change. My shoulders slump. My energy drops. Even my face changes. So I interrupt it. I sit up straight, put my shoulders back and start asking myself: What’s going to be good? What do I love about travelling? What do I love about speaking? I get to meet amazing people. I get to eat a lunch I didn’t make. I get to drink tea I didn’t make. I get to stay in a hotel bed I didn’t make. And there are no dishes or laundry waiting for me! I rapid-fire the good until my brain starts seeing the 90% again. It doesn’t change the fact that I have to go to work. It changes what I’m focusing on when I get there. That’s something I’ve learned through the Darci Lang Focus on the 90% philosophy: sometimes you have to intentionally redirect your brain toward what is good, especially on the days when it doesn’t happen naturally. My challenge for you: The next time you don’t feel like going to work, pause before you let the 10% take over. Sit up, put your shoulders back and start listing what’s good. Then tell me in the comments: What helps you stay motivated on days when you just don’t feel like it? For more from Darci Lang on focusing on the 90%, creating a more positive workplace and changing where you put your energy, subscribe to the channel and follow along on social media.

When you plan a training day for your team, who are you planning it for? This week, I’m preparing to speak to three completely different audiences. And after years of speaking, I’ve noticed something that happens in almost every room. About 90% of the people show up grateful to be there. They appreciate the opportunity, the meal, the snacks, the swag and, most importantly, the investment being made in them. They feel valued, respected and cared for. Then there’s the 10% who simply don’t want to be there. And too often, that 10% gets most of our attention. We change the training. We worry about whether they’re happy. We try to win them over. We put so much energy into changing the experience for a small group of people that we risk overlooking the 90% who showed up ready to learn. After more than 30 years of speaking, Darci Lang has learned to look at it differently. What if we designed our training, recognition and workplace experiences around the people who do want to be there? Celebrate them. Invest in them. Give them a great experience. Make sure they know how much their attitude and contribution matter. Because sometimes, instead of trying to change the 10%, we need to put our energy into the 90% who deserve it. My challenge for leaders this week: The next time you’re planning something for your team, ask yourself: Am I building this for the 90% who are engaged, or am I letting the 10% drive my decisions? Tell me what you think in the comments. How much energy should leaders spend trying to win over the 10%? For more from Darci on creating positive workplaces, choosing where you focus your energy and living the Focus on the 90% philosophy, subscribe to the channel and follow along on social media.

As September brings us back to work, school, meetings and busy schedules, here’s a question worth asking: Who is showing up? This summer, I dusted off a book I first bought 30 years ago, Your Sacred Self by @WayneDyerMotivation1. I’ve read it many times, but this time I was reminded of something so simple and so important. We have a choice in how we show up. Do we lead with love, kindness and our spiritual side? Or do we let our ego run the show? It made me think about the 10% part of my Focus on the 90% philosophy. That 10% can be loud. It can take over our thoughts, our reactions and how we interact with the people around us. But we have a choice about whether we let it. So as you head into a busy September, take a moment each day and ask yourself: Who is sitting at my desk today? Who is walking into this meeting? Who is showing up on this Zoom call? Am I showing up centred, kind and grounded? Or is my ego running the show? My challenge for you: Pay attention to that choice this week. When you catch your ego taking over, see if you can move that 10% aside and choose how you really want to show up. Then tell me in the comments: What helps you get back to your 90%? For more from Darci Lang on focusing on the 90%, choosing your perspective and bringing more positivity into everyday life, subscribe to the channel and follow along on social media.

Parents are not born with a script. Happy Father’s Day. In this heartfelt reflection, Darci Lang celebrates the fathers in her life, including her Dad and her husband, Darren, while sharing a parenting lesson that has stayed with her for years. Her son loved to skateboard, and they watched skateboarding videos when he was younger. While watching an interview with professional skateboarder Chris Cole and his children on his lap, she heard him say something simple but powerful: "I wasn't given a script on how to be a good father." That idea resonated deeply. None of us are handed a manual on how to be great parents. We often parent from the examples, experiences, and belief systems we grew up with. Some of those lessons serve us well. Others may need to be rewritten. Darci invites parents to reflect on their own parenting journey. Are there parts of your script that no longer fit? Is there a different way you want to show up for your children? The good news is that it is never too late to learn, grow, and create a new story. Parenting is not about perfection. It is about being willing to keep learning and loving along the way. Learn more at www.darcilang.com 👉 Subscribe for more reflections on parenting, leadership, and living from your 90%.

A simple two-word reminder can bring you back to the present moment. How often have you arrived somewhere and realized you do not remember part of the drive? Darci Lang shares a simple practice she uses when life feels busy, overwhelming, or distracting. Like many of us, she has experienced moments when her mind races ahead while her body is somewhere else entirely. When that happens, she uses two powerful words: Be Here. Whether she is driving, walking, sitting in a Zoom meeting, or spending time with the people she loves, those two words help bring her attention back to the present moment. Instead of thinking about the next thing, the last thing, or the hundred things on the to-do list, she focuses on what is happening right now. Darci explains how being fully present changes the way we listen, connect, and experience our lives. It allows us to notice the beauty around us, hear what people are actually saying, and show up more intentionally in our relationships and work. Life moves quickly. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is our full attention. Today, try the simple reminder: Be Here. Learn more at www.darcilang.com 👉 Subscribe for more reflections on wellbeing, mindfulness, and living from your 90%.

Kindness may be one of the hardest and most powerful leadership skills you'll ever learn. Darci Lang reflects on a powerful idea she recently heard while listening to Oprah interview Maria Shriver. Maria suggested that many people view kindness and love as soft skills, something nice to have but not essential for success. She believes the opposite is true. Kindness is a hard skill, and it can become your superpower! After building a business for more than 30 years, Darci has seen firsthand how kindness affects relationships, leadership, customer service, referrals, and long-term success. She believes kindness is not a weakness. It is a strength that can transform how we work, lead, and connect with others. What would happen if you brought a little more kindness into your leadership role? How would it change the way your team experiences you? How would it change the culture around you? Darci invites you to reflect on a simple question. Do you see kindness as a soft skill or a hard skill? And what if it became your superpower? Learn more at www.darcilang.com 👉 Subscribe for more reflections on leadership, kindness, and living from your 90%.

If all you ever talk about is what you dislike about your job, that story starts shaping your life. After speaking to thousands of audiences over the years, Darci Lang has noticed something surprising. People often feel almost embarrassed to admit that they actually love what they do. She hears it all the time. “Don’t think I’m crazy, but I love my job.” And that raises an important question. Why does being proud of what we do sometimes feel unusual? Darci believes many of us have developed a habit of focusing on the 10%. The frustrations, the politics, the things we cannot control. But what if we looked at our work through a 90% lens instead? What is good? What is positive? What do you actually enjoy? The way you talk about your job affects more than your workday. It affects your mindset, your coworkers, your customers, and the family you go home to at the end of the day. And if you've ever lived with someone who dislikes their job, it isn't fun. Darci invites you to take an honest look at the story you are telling about your work. When people hear you talk about your job, do they hear the complaints, or do they ever hear what you love? What do you like? Stay inspired with Darci Lang by visiting her website: www.darcilang.com Subscribe to motivational speaker Darci Lang for more leadership insights, workplace stories, and practical tools for living from your 90% lens.

If you ask how someone is but never stop to listen, people feel that. Darci Lang shares a powerful leadership story that started with one simple question. “How are you?” Years ago, after speaking at a leadership conference, Darci received an email from a leader named Ron. Every morning, Ron walked through his organization, greeting more than 200 employees with the same words. “Good morning. How are you?” Then he would head straight into his office. After hearing Darci speak, something clicked. He realized he was asking the question, but he was never truly staying long enough to hear the answer. That day, Ron pulled up a chair. He sat down with 10 members of his team. He listened. And he made a commitment to lead with more intention, more presence, and more genuine kindness. Darci invites leaders to reflect on their own habits. When you ask your team how they are, do people feel that you genuinely want to know? Sometimes the smallest shift creates the biggest impact. Learn more at www.darcilang.com Subscribe to motivational speaker Darci Lang for more leadership insights, workplace stories, and practical tools for building stronger teams.